Confronting A Manipulator: Good Idea Or Bad?

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When you knock a controlling person down from their dominant position, expect them to push back with full force.

a woman looking into the distance trying to decide if confronting a manipulator is a good idea

In all honesty, whether or not you decide you’d like to mess with someone who is controlling depends on the level of control that they have over you and others. If either you or your loved ones feel unsafe in the company of said person, it is certainly not worth putting yourself or your family members In harm’s way by pressing their buttons.

Is the behavior abusive or not?

However, although some people exasperate us with their controlling tendencies, their behavior certainly wouldn’t qualify as abuse. If your controlling person is only minorly so, then you might consider throwing some controlling antics back at them.

It might be fun to mess with the controlling person just enough to knock them down from their high horse for a bit. Controlling people really DO think they’re the bomb, after all.

Is getting back at them worth it?

Also note that if your history with this person has been characterized by an overbearing dynamic and this has gone on for years, messing with their head may not give you the satisfaction that you were hoping for. That’s because controlling people seem to have this level of aggression bred into them, perhaps inherited but also socially formed. To them, it’s normal (they’re inherently primed for a fight rather than flight), but to us it’s exhausting.

So when you try to knock a controlling person down from their dominant social position, they are likely to catch on to what is happening very quickly and retaliate in full force. Because of this, you’ll have to ascertain if you’re up for such a high level of conflict. Controlling people are not easy to break, which is precisely why they’re controlling.

Why are controlling people hard to break?

It’s because they have been socially conditioned into a defensive perspective. The controlling person likely feels that they have no choice but either to control or be controlled. Again, this goes back to social development during the formative years.

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