What is my level of emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is a very complex subject. In Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ, the author explains how people with high emotional intelligence can excel where their counterparts with higher IQ but lower emotional intelligence flounder. There are various ways that individuals can be measured for their emotional intelligence. These may include self-assessment tests, the use of clinical interviews, and the use of mathematical and statistical models. But most of us may never have such an assessment.

Here are some ways to identify if you have high or low emotional intelligence in general:

Signs of having low emotional intelligence

1. Growing up as “problem children” with a tendency to buck authority and who have trouble advancing to the next phase of maturity and responsibility.
2. Tending to become stuck in a negative and self-defeating mindset which prevents them from taking necessary action in their lives.
3. Taking longer than others to find and commit to a healthy and satisfying romantic relationship because they weren’t shown what a healthy relationship based in higher emotional intelligence looks like.
4. As adults in the professional world, getting passed over for positions of responsibility both in their social life and their academic or work situation.
5. Experiencing a string of failed relationships that leave them scratching their heads in frustration based on a lack of emotional awareness and understanding.
6. Having unpleasant encounters with authority figures who perceive them as a threat based on their actions, words and body language which can lack finesse and convey a certain disrespect or disregard for others.

Signs of having high emotional intelligence

1. Using the insights gained into other people and their motivations, to further their own goals while simultaneously nurturing healthy relationships with their peers and professional associates.
2. Navigating the challenges of life, work and relationships well.
3. Fostering positive communication between family members that ultimately increases understanding, cooperation and emotional closeness.
4. Moving forward with developmental milestones and experiencing personal success.
5. Nurturing healthy and satisfying friendships based in empathy, mutual appreciation, respect and understanding.
6. Being granted positions of responsibility due to the ability to communicate, cooperate, compromise and negotiate with others to the positive agreement of all involved parties.
7. Enjoying satisfying, committed romantic and intimate relationships based on open communication, emotional trust, consideration, and mutual respect.
8. Commanding a leadership role based in empathy and emotional insight rather than driven by manipulative tactics.