Before you can figure out if it’s a good idea to tame your people-pleasing tendency, you might first consider whether you actually are a people pleaser or not.
The term people pleaser has a negative connotation. It’s not the worst insult that you could receive by any means. But the general idea is that if someone is calling you a people pleaser, it means that you have tipped the scales of priority towards others rather than yourself.
The fundamental issue is that if someone calls you a people pleaser, it means even others notice that you prioritize what other people want over your needs.
People-pleasing is associated with having a meek or acquiescent personality. We think of people pleasers as not standing up for themselves, and bending to the will of others too readily.
In life, we generally feel happiest when things are in balance. You have probably heard of the expression that you cannot continue to give to others without first filling the cup of your own needs. This definitely applies to people-pleasing personalities.
People pleasers are dubbed as such because they’re known to let others walk all over them. While it is generally an admirable quality to want to do nice things for friends, family, and others with whom you engage socially, there should be a balance between self and others. You can’t always be the giver.
This post is part of the series, People Pleasers Who Want Stronger Boundaries.
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