The Danger of Being Too Nice

A genuinely decent or ‘nice’ person has always been a blessing to those they come in contact with. It’s an admirable quality that anybody would simply wish to have more access to, especially to balance the spite and hate that can sometimes seem to be predominant.

Terrible news happening every day has never been so widely broadcast. People have never been more divided in what they believe in and in proving themselves right, sometimes reaching a point of violence.

The world could really make use of some altruism and genuine kindness today. The glaring truth is, we would simply live better if there were more good-hearted people around in our midst.

But when you’re a good and decent person who is simply too nice to the point of excess, it can often bring you more harm than good.

This falls into two parts:

1. there are always others who will take advantage of another’s good nature.
2. when these ‘nice’ behaviors are manifest for the wrong reasons, it can be an unhealthy barrier to self-growth.

There are apparent risks and hidden dangers of being excessively nice.

1. Growing resentment that you are unable to express.

Being too available to others and overly generous of yourself and your time can impact your self-worth and confidence. While you’re busy attending to everyone else’s needs, you have most likely forgotten your own, or given them a lower priority.

This may cause you to experience feelings of resentment towards situations and people. But as an overly nice person, you will be unlikely to express how you feel, as you’re afraid to rock the boat. This is a very unhealthy cycle you may find difficulty getting out of. As a result, your self-esteem can suffer.

2. You can attract the wrong type of people into your life.

People may come to you only when they need and want something, knowing they can easily benefit from you without you expecting anything in return. This is a sad situation to be in, but it is not so uncommon for overly nice people. The result? You end up attracting people who don’t have your best interests at heart.

3. People will not trust and respect you as you expect them to.

For many people, for various reasons, trust and respect are not freely given but must be earned. Sometimes, if you so generously trust others without them earning it, you’ll lose your high value. These people can then disappoint you and disrespect you.

They know that won’t be a problem because you’re too nice even to get mad. In the end, they will keep disrespecting you due to your lack of boundaries. When you are a person who trusts others easily, this can be bewildering and painful.

4. You develop unrealistic expectations of others.

Being a naturally nice person can bring out the naivety in us as we may inherently believe that other people have the same regard for our welfare as we would for theirs. The truth is, it does not always work that way.

Sometimes, you will need to be very transparent at communicating your expectations to make some relationships work. If not, you’ll just end up resenting someone because they weren’t properly briefed at the onset.

5. People will take advantage of you.

People are people, and even though they may not always have bad intentions at first, many are nevertheless opportunistic. They can easily take you for granted if you do not assert yourself enough. Worse, they’ll take advantage of you because you’re too nice and may even use it against you.

For a person who lacks malice and sees the best in others, it can seem to be a cruel world when your ‘niceness’ is taken advantage of, spurned, or used against you. Sadly, this is a common occurrence – and to the best of people with good intentions.

Before you openly extend yourself so generously to others, make sure you practice self-love first. Being a nice person with a genuine concern for the welfare of others is a very admirable trait, but it also requires a degree of resilience. Be your best self to others, but don’t blindly expect reciprocation.

Always remember to respect and love yourself. Have some boundaries for people to respect. If you do this, being a nice person will better work to your advantage and happiness.