How to Deal With Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People series

1. How to Deal with Difficult People
2. Standing Up To A Difficult Spouse, Parent, or Partner
3. Signs of A Difficult Partner, Parent, or Spouse
4. Why Do Difficult People Play Mind Games?
5. Why are Difficult People So Often Two-Faced?
6. How to Stop Giving Difficult People Your Energy
7. How Difficult People Steal Your Energy
8. What Is Crazy Making Behavior?
9. Examples of Crazy-Making Behavior
10. Find Emotional Support to Deal With A Difficult Person
11. How To Stop A Difficult Person From Playing Head Games
12. Why Difficult People Do What They Do
13. How To Stop Arguing With A Difficult Person
14. A Simple But Effective Breakup Plan

If this article caught your eye, then there is someone in your life that irritates you and rubs you the wrong way. It may even be your significant other, or it could be an extended family member, a friend of a friend, a coworker, or your boss. You never know when the negative relationship’s dynamic is going to pop up and that’s why it feels so bad.

What makes difficult people difficult?

Mainly, it’s most likely an ego thing. We consider people to be unpleasant to deal with when they seem to turn every interaction that we have with them into a conflict where they are the self-named protagonist, and you are cast as the antagonist or enemy.

That’s ego play at its finest.

It may be that this person never admits that they’re wrong. Difficult people typically accuse, belittle, and blame everyone else for everything negative that happens to them. They may be arrogant and opinionated, and they may behave in a selfish, perpetually taking manner while seldom if ever returning your generosity or showing gratitude for the favors, help, and support that you seem to give endlessly.

The first thing to recognize, acknowledge and accept about difficult people is that you cannot change them. If you could, you would not be here in frustration, searching for tips on how to deal with said difficult person. The primary issue with people like this is that their egos appear to be enormously large. In fact, it is amazing the way they seem to make every situation about themselves, while in their eyes you’re about as big as a pinky finger.

Indeed, this may be more about perspective than one may think. No, it is probably NOT in your head that the difficult person in your life literally does not see you (unless of course, you cause a problem for them, in which case they are suddenly viewing you with a proverbial magnifying glass of criticism and condemnation). Somewhere along the way, possibly during a critical developmental phase of early childhood, the difficult person in your life did not receive the psychological rite of passage needed to advance along to maturity and the ability to separate their perception of self from another person.

The term “narcissist” is often applied here, though nowadays so many people are eager to label their difficult partner, spouse, parent, or other acquaintance with a mental health condition, that it can be tough to know exactly where on the spectrum of self-centeredness said difficult person might fall. So they might be a textbook narcissist, or they might just be your garden variety pain in the you-know-what. Difficult people come in all forms and extremes of personality.

Next: Standing Up To A Difficult Spouse, Parent, or Partner